


The Choice

by orphan_account



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Background MC/Jax Matsuo, Canon Compliant, Contains spoilers for Bloodbound 3, Follows Bloodbound 3 Chapter 10, Gaius gets his compassion back, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderqueer Character, I have a horrible feeling we are going to kill off Gaius instead of altering him back, Mentions of Kano Yoshimasa, Named MC, Other, They/Them/Theirs Pronouns, Will probably end up not being canon compliant, redemption arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22628884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Instead of killing Gaius Augustine, the Bloodkeeper decides to try Rheya's old trick: re-alter his soul.
Relationships: Gaius Augustine & Main Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	The Choice

**Author's Note:**

> The characters of Bloodbound do not belong to me!
> 
> Contains heavy spoilers for Bloodbound III.
> 
> This is not a Gaius apologist fic, but I have a feeling that when we meet him again in Bloodbound III, the MC won't get the option to spare him. With the choices I've made for my MC, Sawyer, I think that's a choice they would specifically make. I wanted to explore an option where that happened.

Gaius Augustine was standing before them.

He looked just like he had on Adrian's private jet merely days ago, just like he had before Sawyer had killed him. Chin-length brown hair, pale blue eyes, sharp features. He was grinning coldly, but the light never quite reached his eyes. As soon as they had stepped out into the night he had been there, as if he had known exactly where they would go and where they would be. It was like that before, too. Wherever they traveled he would find them, anticipating their every move. Even when they had killed him he had been ready for them.

" _Why is he always wearing a cape? Hasn't he ever seen The Incredibles?_ " Lily stage-whispered behind them, and Sawyer tried to muffle their outrageous giggle. None of their friends understood the reference, unfortunately, but it was enough to break the silence. Gaius hadn't spoken yet. He had caught them leaving one of the buildings that The Five owned, but that was an issue to tackle later. For now they needed to find out what he wanted and if he could be beaten. They couldn't kill him with a stake made from the First One's tree, not like last time.

Sawyer breathed evenly through their nose, staring Gaius down from across the parking lot. His arms were outstretched, and he was talking, walking jauntily toward their ragtag group--how long had be been talking for? What was he saying? "Did you really think you would lose me in New York? I knew you were coming to Japan. You _had_ to know that I would follow you here. Rheya--" Sawyer zoned him out, concentrating. Kano had explained to them how to get to the mindscape on their own, how to enter the minds and memories of others, and they had long since surpassed his expectations on how fast one could learn in just a few days. They were really, _really_ good.

Could they control him like Rheya? Convince him to tear himself apart?

Coerce information about The First One from him?

He would deserve it. He had hurt Kamilah; her friend was trembling with anger at Sawyer's side, but that didn't stop the haunted look in her eye. He had hurt Adrian, too, making him a soldier, a follower; Adrian was replying to each of Gaius' barbed statements, but he was clearly worried, too. He had hurt Lily, keeping her from being able to fight, messing with her head; Lily was afraid, but that didn't stop her from shifting into a fighting stance, ready to go. And Jax...he had hurt Jax, too. Killed Sawyer with his own blade. Shaken him.

There was no one among them that he hadn't fractured into pieces.

And yet....

_Back in Mydiea, Rheya and Gaius are staring at a village from the top of a hill. Rheya believes the Sons of Ares, who killed her family, are within this village and it has to be purged. Gaius believes there are innocent humans there and doesn't want to kill them. Rheya says no human is innocent and tries to manipulate Gaius into killing them. She says they will come for them and take her from Gaius and he'll be alone, abandoned, unloved. Gaius says he cannot do this. This prompts Rheya to reach deep into Gaius' soul, alter him, bend him to her will. She doesn't change much, just enough. She smothers his compassion for humans, his empathy, his capacity for understanding, closes off just enough of his decency. When she's done, she orders Gaius to kill them all. Gaius complies and charges down the hillside toward the village._

Sawyer wavered. Does he deserve to die for that? To be broken for that? He had his choice stolen from him. _Do I have the power to return that choice? Is he too far gone to come back from it?_ They studied the overbearing man, trying to gauge what needed to be done, if there was any possibility of reaching him.

Was that really a choice that Sawyer got to make? They were the only person with powers that rivaled The First One. Would it be enough? _If I don't give him the chance to choose, am I any better than Rheya? ..I have to try._ Gaius was still talking, bragging, playing with his food when Sawyer approached him. Jax hissed out a " _What are you_ doing _\--?"_ and tried to reach out for them, but they stepped out of his reach. Gaius watched their trajectory, looking surprised; for a moment his expression faltered. Then he was smirking again. "What? You're not so scared that you'll freeze up again anymore? You think you could rival me now? You're not _scared_? Well, you should be. I'll--" Then Sawyer was in his mind and his words cut off as if he was choked.

With their newfound expertise they moved through his mind palace, leafing through memories like he was an open book, but they kept going _deeper_ , hoping they would know it when they saw it. _Past the memory was the soul_. That's what Kano had told them, and though they had never tried to trifle with anybody's soul before, they were so _sure_ they could do it. Their powers were not so different than Rheya's. _But our morals will be._ They moved through memory after memory even as his will fought them with wicked claws, trying to pry them out, block them at every twist and turn, but Sawyer was _stronger_. They would not be afraid of him anymore. They could _do_ this. Sawyer moved past his youngest memories, reaching out--

\--and then they were falling into darkness. Darkness, and then light...no, _lights_. Fragments of self. Awed, they extended an arm, touching one. Flashes of color, reds, purples--passion, his drive, his tenacity, his want and ambition and hopes for a brighter future for vampires, his love for a vampire who did not want him the same way but it did not stop him.

When they took their hand away, so did the feeling. Sawyer closed their eyes, focusing, and let their intuition guide them to one of the lights. It was not like the others; there were fissures through it, dark and angry and coiling, unwilling to be healed. Was it a crack? Was it irreparable? Or was it a cage, could it be molded? Sawyer cupped it in their hands gently, as if it were fragile, and began to unwind the darkness from it as if it were rope...and as they imagined it, it was, more like twine than emotional damage. They twisted it away until it was free, small and gleaming. It was underdeveloped compared to the others, but it was so _bright_. It was his understanding, his capacity for sympathy and pity, for comprehending the emotions of others.

They allowed themself to float to the next damaged light. This one was a blaring, angry red, and it pulsated. Sawyer tried to reach for that one and recoiled with a cry; it was hot to the touch. This one would need to be handled differently. After a moment Sawyer extended their mind, tried to bend it to their will, and it tried to reject them. Apathy, cold and cruel, but apathy could be fought with empathy. Sawyer filtered their own memories, memories of kindness and gentle touches and sweet understanding and warmth until the redness faded into the same crystalline light. _Empathy_ , bright as day, they noted, smiling at the burst of heat that came from the new light. This one was large, more like a star than a light. He had had a natural affinity for sharing feelings of others before Rheya had tried to swallow that kindness. She had not cared for his light, for his faith, not unless it could be used. But Sawyer had nourished it. They could feel the adamant fight in Gaius falling away as they stripped the darkness from his soul.

He could choose the darkness again. But at least, now, he might have a lens in which his past looked differently.

Sawyer recalled Rheya taking his compassion for humans, and wondered if restoring his understanding and empathy would be enough. But then they were shaking their head. He could have understanding and empathy for vampires, or the rest of the magical world, but it might not extend to people. It would take more meddling.

They couldn't see a light that indicated specifically negativity toward humans, so they reached into their own mind, bringing memories to the table. Positive interactions with people, how much they loved their family, their friends from school, their teammates from rugby, their girlfriend in college that they had fallen in love with. They brought up memory after memory of people they would fight and die for if needed be, because people were innately good. There was rage, terror, and sickness in the minds of humans and vampires alike, but there was also a great capacity for kindness. If there was understanding, things could be different, they could _all_ be better. They had willingly fed Jax and Adrian before they were Turned. Humans had willingly fed _many_ of their friends. _And the whole world could be like that. They are scared, but that could change. They can change._ With each word of conviction the lights gained their sheen--they had been jaded before in comparison, Sawyer noticed. They wondered if the soul manifested as lights in every person, or if this was just the form it had taken for them. They doubted they would ever find out.

The soulscape felt warm now, honeyed. Sawyer figured there was nothing more they could do. His soul was stripped bare, vulnerable. They weren't sure if this had been enough, if this had changed anything, or if the taste of power had sullied Gaius too much, but it was worth trying.

With a silent prayer, Sawyer withdrew from his mind, hoping it hadn't been too uncomfortable an experience.

"--on earth? What _happened_? Sawyer, what did you do?" Adrian's voice was the first thing they heard as they jolted back into their body with a gasp.

"I don't know! One minute they was walking toward him, and the next... _this_." That was Kamilah.

Sawyer blinked and tried to peer around Jax, who was somehow standing in front of them. When had he gotten there? Had he jumped in between them? They felt a surge of affection for their boyfriend, but also made a note to tell him off for doing something so reckless. What they saw made them sag in relief.

Gaius Augustine was on his knees, curled in on himself, _weeping_.

"Oh, good. It worked. Maybe." Their four friends turned to stare at Sawyer. "Er, I saw a memory a bit ago that Rheya physically altered his soul when they were hunting the Sons of Ares. Uh, long story, but basically he wasn't always a monster. He used to be better. Kinder. I wanted...well, he deserved a choice."

"Does he?" Kamilah muttered, something dark flashing over her beautiful features.

But Sawyer was having none of it. "I'm not Rheya. I am not going to be the Judge, Jury, and Executioner here. If there was any possibility that a non-corroded version of him might be on out side...I needed to do it." Body moving on its own, Sawyer had moved around Jax, avoiding his grasping hands again, and walked toward Gaius warily. The others made sounds of caution, warning them against it, but not even they could help but watch, wide-eyed, as Sawyer stood before Gaius. They knelt down before him--if he was like his old self, he would have struck them down already, this they knew--and whispered, "How are you holding up?"

Gaius shifted, clearly having heard them, but a wracking sob escaped him first. Once he had collected himself, he replied, not lifting his head, "What did you do?"

"The opposite of what Rheya did some two thousand years ago. I...er, I _un_ -altered your soul?" Sawyer cocked their head. "Was it painful? I'm sorry if it was."

One of their friends hissed, upset that they were apologizing to _Gaius Augustine_ of all people, but they ignored them.

Gaius shook his head, bowing deeper into the pavement. " _I killed so many people_." His voice was rough, broken. "I never meant...I didn't want...." Then he was crying again, burying his face into his hands. This time Sawyer placed a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched away, looking at them through his hair with red-rimmed, wild eyes. When Sawyer did not attack nor remove their hand he relaxed. Apparently they had startled him so badly that he forgot he was crying. "..why...?"

"Thought you might not want to be alone with this."

"..I _killed_ you."

"And I killed you. We're even." Sawyer shrugged. Gaius laughed wetly, then looked shocked. Sawyer wondered when the last time was that he had laughed because of something this remotely _human_. Then they wondered if that was why he looked so stricken immediately after. "You can come back from this, you know."

"Can I?" he asked, voice hushed, and now he was angry.

They nodded. "You can always come back. It's your choice. You can do anything now. Stay on your path, come with us to defeat Rheya--" The name made him wince, but they didn't apologize. "--or even leave and start doing some good in the world. Genuinely, whatever you want." When they had started talking he had started sitting up, wiping tears from his cheeks and tucking locks of dark hair behind his ears so it wouldn't be in his face, staring at them incredulously the entire time. Like he couldn't believe this was happening. Like _this_ was the craziest thing he had ever seen before.

In their peripheral vision they saw Lily slip her hand into Kamilah's, squeezing it. They hoped that their friends weren't too upset with them.

Gaius was silent for awhile. Every so often his eyes would fill with tears, but he never started crying, not like before. His lower lip trembled. He didn't seem to know what to say or do, so Sawyer let him think it over, dropping their hand from his shoulder and into their own lap. He watched their hands as if he was still confused about why they had helped him to begin with.

When he spoke again, his voice was softer than they had ever heard it, but he still sounded more like himself. "..Thank you, Sawyer. For fixing me...no, that's not it. For stopping what she did." For a moment he sounded almost shy. When Sawyer took his hand in their own, he jumped. Then he smiled a little, small and sweet, very un-Gaius like (or, perhaps, the _most_ Gaius-like, since this what who he had always been, underneath everything). "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because I don't think anyone else will be." They watched him grimace at the truth of it. A grin crossed their face unbidden. "But I also think that people are innately good, and that you are people. You were loved before Rheya, and you were respected after her. I don't think you'll have that back by the same people, but I do think you could have it again if that was something you wanted. There are billions of people in this world looking for new folx to meet. This thing you're feeling right now? It doesn't have to be forever." His expression changed and he looked almost hopeful. Almost. He was too weary to be _too_ hopeful, but at the very least he was looking toward the future. "I won't say that we can be friends, but we can be allies, right? Truce?"

He chuckled lowly. "I think you're the closest thing to a friend or ally that I have right now. So, truce." He met their smile with one of his own, and Sawyer heard a quick intake of breath from behind them, unable to pinpoint which of the four it had been. But they could understand why. For a moment Gaius Augustine looked almost _human_. "I want to fight with you against Rheya."

" _No_ ," Adrian growled.

Gaius ducked his head. Sawyer figured he should have seen that coming. "Actually, Adrian's right. Rheya could influence all of us far too easily. She's shaped you without your consent once, and she could do it again. I don't think it would be safe for you."

"I-I could pretend to be under her influence still," he suggested desperately.

"No, Gaius. It's not safe for you. She could make you kill, she could make you hurt people again. I don't think you should." It wasn't a direct order, and they knew it. Gaius picked up on it too, it seemed, for he lifted his head to study them, curiously.

"...For someone whose powers rival The First One, you two are...strikingly different." His gaze locked on their joined hands, frowning. "Why didn't you order me not to?"

Sawyer had not even considered this. They looked so alarmed that Jax and Lily exchanged amused looks over their shoulder. "Why...why the fuck would you listen to me if I told you not to do something?"

"...Sawyer, if you can meddle with memories and a vampire's soul, I'm sure you could control minds like Rheya does. You have the powers of a god, like she." Gaius visibly softened as he spoke. He seemed to believe that Sawyer truly wanted nothing from him now, which was a relief...but also terrifying. Who was he if he wasn't being used?

The Bloodkeeper contemplated this option, raking a hand through their irreverent curls, before sighing. No. It wasn't that easy. "I can't be like her. I need to be something... _somebody_ different. I don't want to be obeyed by anyone, I just want...I want New York to be safe. I want _everyone_ to be face. Having friends and people who care about me is more important. I want the world to be safer for them. I _will not use my power to do that to people_." Sawyer got up very suddenly, pushing themself up into a standing position. They pulled Gaius up with them. He was taken with how small they were compared to him; smaller than Rheya, even. "And, like I said, you are people."

They saluted him lazily before turning their back on him-- _they trusted him enough to do that?_ \--and walked over to their friends. Jax immediately pulled them close, arm winding around their shoulder protectively. "And if I go to New York regardless?" Gaius challenged. He hadn't moved still. He seemed lost, but at least he had no intention on making the group any more uncomfortable than they already were.

"Then I will try to keep you safe, but I will be very cross with you for being so reckless with your new soul."

Gaius laughed. He seemed to be getting used to having a sense of humor that wasn't directly related to celebrating the misfortunes of others. Then he left, walking in the opposite direction as them. Adrian watched him suspiciously, only looking away when Sawyer moved to take his hand in their own. It was over. If things went their way, they would never see Gaius Augustine again. Maybe Gaius _would_ put some good out there into the world.

Adrian looked at them for a long moment before embracing them tightly, not caring at Jax was latched onto them like a leech. "That was...incredibly brave. And stupid," he told them, resting his chin on the top of their head.

"Very Neo of you," Lily added, beaming.

"Comments like that make me think you've never actually seen The Matrix," Sawyer replied. They returned Adrian's hug, leaning into him. Lily laughed. The relief in the air was palpable, as was the surprise; they couldn't believe they were all still alive, that Gaius might be on their side, that Sawyer was so powerful. "..if I even think about using my mind powers to zap people, y'all need to call me out on my bullshit, okay? I can't--I don't want to be like _her_." They all knew who 'her' was. It did not need explaining. Adrian squeezed them reassuringly, as did Jax.

"Never," Kamilah promised. She was still holding Lily's hand, but nobody commented on it.

Together they finished the walk to Takeshi's home. Adrian and Kamilah stayed up--they had a lot to unpack from today, Sawyer supposed, so they let them be. There were some things that even looking through their memories wouldn't explain. They needed time. Instead they turned in for the night early, and Jax was soon to join them, tucking into their side immediately. It had been a long day, Sawyer had crazy powers, Gaius was not a villain anymore, and they were closer than ever to taking on The First One. Any day now.


End file.
